CoD 6: Modern World at Warfare 2 1/2

I've got to stop having crushes on people. It's probably not healthy.

Try having an epiphany that has nothing to do with solving a problem whatsoever. Yeah, that worst kind of revelation you can think of. That whole "Icarus Complex" one can have because they find out that there is no solution to what they are trying to accomplish.

I've come to terms with the fact that no one from the outside is ever going to understand video games, let alone get the title of any game right. You know, I'm not going to pigeonhole it to people on the outside, because people who love video games are fucking stupid, too.

Today- my patience was tested. Again. For the eleventy-billionth time. Not because of someone asking an honest question regarding games, but because some smartasses thought they knew more about what they were looking for than I did. Awesome. I'm sure anyone who sells shit they like gets the same feeling when someone tries to stump you about something you idolize.

I'm going to mock Nintendo Wii fans today- no- not the "Nintendo Wii fans who know their shit" fans, I'm talking about the Mom's and Grandpa's and the otherwise "completely-uninterested-in-the-video-game-world-assholes" Nintendo Wii fans. God, you're so lucky that Nintendo has some greedy pieces of shit using douchebag marketing strategies to clean out your wallets because you're too fucking smug to see that you're wasting your money on aesthetics.

Now before I go too far into the darkside of the Nintendo Wii- I want to thank the people who genuinely ASK me if it's a waste of their money to buy these shitty ass products that are EXACTLY what you think they are- a waste of money. I want to thank the people that actually listen to what I have to say when I'm helping them find these games without treating me like I'm some clod they hired to stand behind a shit-camera stand.

*Ahem*

So today my initial asshole called me over to Nintendo stuff. And instead of asking me for New Super Mario Bros. for the Wii, they said- "This section. The only game that's red. Can you handle that?"

I smiled, and said: "So you want New Super Mario Bros. for the Wii?"

"No. It's Super Mario Bros. New. It's the ONLY one with a red case!"

*facepalm.*

Oh hey, should I grab you Smuggerfuckles: I've Been A Gamer for Two Months, too? Honestly, go to hell. Just because you got yourself that piece of crap doesn't mean you belong in the gaming world, you oaf.

"Of course."

"Can I walk around with this game in my cart? I still have shopping to do."

"'fraid not. It's in the lockup, so I've got to either ring it up here, or I can drop it off at the lanes for whenever you're ready."

"...that's weird, you'd think these things wouldn't need to be protected."

No, of course not. These things are valueless to the fullest extent. Little shitbags haven't already stolen these $50+ disks for years before you found it to be socially acceptable to be a part of something you probably vilified long before the Wii came out. (come to think of it, the media used to say that all video games rot your mind; and now that there are such games that actually do because of the Wii, people love them, and will blow all their money just to have them. Heh... irony IS funny!)

I don't want to dwell on this bullshit, but seriously- this Wii trend needs to stop... fast. Not for the financial reasons, because I know that if it had failed- then Nintendo would have waved its long overdue white flag, but because people need to understand that it's not a fucking video game anymore. It's a machine that was built for the mentally disabled. A machine built for the sole purpose of resetting your mind back to the years where anything was believable, and therefore plausible.

-OF COURSE YOU CAN MAKE A SUBSTANTIAL LIFESTYLE CHANGE BY WORKING OUT ON OUR PATENTED WII BALANCE BOARD! IT'S PERFECT TO SHED THOSE UNWANTED POUNDS!

-OUR MOTION DETECTION SYSTEM IS TOP NOTCH! YOUR MOVEMENTS ARE TRACKED BY OUR SENSOR BAR THAT HAS EXCELLENT RESPONSE TO THE VERY WAY YOU MOVE... just buy the motion plus attachment so that it's actually an accurate response.

-OUR GAMES HAVE THE GREATEST GRAPHICS OF ALL! WE DON'T NEED TO MOVE UP TO HIGH DEFINITION LIKE THOSE OTHER GUYS DO JUST TO IMPRESS YOU! ...what's a Gamecube? No, it definitely didn't have a better processing engine than the Wii does. *chuckles* Heh? What's 1080p? That sounds stupid.

Seriously, you're getting duped. Hard. All of you. I've heard of these fucking mediocre games that are coming out for your mediocre video game system that's only means of conveyance for me was playing the new Smash Bros. and Zelda: TP, which was a fucking disappointment anyway. So in essence, this is what I have to say to Nintendo: Get your fucking act together. You already have all the money in the world from the idiots who bought this system butt-ass naked, now give back to the people who gave a rat's ass about what games you're putting out instead of making another fucking stupid sports accessories bundle that serves no actual purpose other than giving people a larger hit-box in their living room.

I'm too frustrated to finish this. MW2 time.